memory saya dan dia ::

I hate when people ask me how I am. That monotonous response, that ‘I'm okay thanks, how about you?’ so forced, so contrived. When I reply I don’t even think of the meaning behind the words that are tumbling out, I'm not faking but I'm just afraid that people might think that I'm waiting for their sympathy. No?

I don’t even stop to realize that no, I’m not okay, or maybe yes, I'm just doing fine. I wish people wanted to know how each other were rather than using the question ‘how are you?’ as this regularly structured script...uhu..

Sorry if this statement might hurt those people whom used to ask me such question. I didn't mean to hurt you but I've always wanted to say this, I'm sorry if I might lie on the answers for your questions. Really am sorry. I hope I can be a better girl, that's all I wish for. 

actually,, I miss him way too much. I can't even express how much does he mean to me, he means the world to me. But now, since he's not here anymore, I just don't know how to appreciate what's happening in my life. I don't know how to love anyone with all of my heart. I don't know how to live my life like I used to. Maybe it's all because I used to let him handle my life and I never been independent when I was so happy. It's all my fault, it's all my fault. It's all my fault, Allah is trying to test me in any way. I got so much challenges to face. I still got a very long journey to go through, InsyaAllah. I want to be strong :'(

tengs umi..ayah..sib..n fwen..

u're my strenght..

This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. 

 Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.

arghhh!!!

It’s like everyone I meet reminds me of you. But after all, they are not you. They don’t keep my secrets, they don’t give me advice I want to hear. You don’t tell my secrets. You are true and you are real. It’s taking me years to get over this feeling. It’s really hard because I didn’t know I would love someone for so long. Because at my worst times, I only want you here. With me. Forever. But whatever it is, even if I'm at my worst feeling or my best feeling, the only thing I've been hoping for is to know that you're in peace in your new world. May Allah let mercy have on you. I'm not going to stop praying for you. This, I promise till my last breath. I hope and pray to Allah that He will accept all my prayers to you. And I pray, may all of your sins are forgiven. Al-fatihah. Amin.

I’m not always as confident as I seem. There are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don’t want to talk about what is bothering me. Sometimes I just want a hug. Someone who will let me cry. I like when boys cry in front of me - when people aren’t afraid to show what they’re really feeling. I don’t like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn’t do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. I know what it’s like to see something funny and not laugh. I’ve been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart. And my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does. Ever :'(  

indahnya hidup andai bercinta kerana Allah

bertemu tidak jemu

berpisah tidak gelisah

ya Allah redhakanlah hidupku ini

dengan setiap qada' dan qadarmu

dan kuatkanlah hatiku

moga tidak diselebungi dosa

 jadikanlah Hanisah Suhaimi insan yang bersyukur

al-Fatihah buat arwah Zulkarnain Ikhwan bin Hj Mohd Nordin

moga beliau ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang yang beriman